Things don't always turn out how you think they will, and sometimes that's ok.  Last night wasn't, yet was one of those situations.  I went to the dance as friends with you so i guess you thought that meant we didn't even have to really talk.  When i looked around the room for you, you were dancing with someone else, sometimes you came over in my group and danced with us, but you never even looked at me when a slow song came on. And i guess that's partly my fault becuase we never said anything about it but even though we were there as friends you could have danced one dance with me. I had fun without you, and I am glad you went and had fun too. But then when you didn't go out with the group after like you said you would because you didn't feel good, i was upset, especially when someone said you were upset about a girl. So now i wish i could be over you, but i can't be, but now i'm starting too because the good thing that came out of this is i think i might be falling for someone else, someone who stayed by me all night, who talked to me, who was there with me when you weren't. The worst part is you could probably care less, and when i said goodbye you just said goodbye, no i had fun, thanks for bringing me, nothing. I don't think you have completely broken my heart, but you have definately cracked it. And even though you won't say I'm sorry, i will, im sorry your not the person i thought you were. I'm sorry.

Sometimes taking risks is worth it. I am almost her.

Knowing you causes me so much pain sometimes.  Sometimes I wish I didn't know you, or even if I did, that we didn't talk. I wonder what my life would be like if I didn't know you....If I didn't like you ? Would it be easier? I want to know ? But I can't stop talking to you, because I think a part of me would die inside. Maybe I will eventually gie up on you, but I don't think that's going to be anytime soon. So until then, could you do me a favor and not be so nice ? Not be so cute ? Not talk to me all the time, even though we're really good friends ? Can you not be so perfect ? So until then can you just not make me love you ? Please ? For me ?

Happy Thanksgiving, I am grateful for my wonderful family and my amazing friends, I don't know what I would do without you !

I wish I was her. So I could be held in your arms, and my hand could be held by yours. I wish we talked all night and hung out everyday. I wish I was in her place because maybe, just maybe i think I may be kind of in love with you. First we barely talked, then we only talked when we had to. Then before i knew it we became good friends, that already had nicknames for eachother. Not long after that is when I realized I wouldn't mind getting to know you better. Oh, and that picture of us at the dance, yeah that's my favorite picture from that night. Now that we talk nonstop I wish we didn't because you think we're too good of friends to be anything more, but I don't. When I found out you were going out with her I was sad at first, but then I was just kind of sad it wasn't me. Now i'm still sad it's not me, but yet i'm happy for you becuase, well, I am your friend and i'm happy your happy, and that she's happy because she's my friend too. So now I'm just trying to put a smile on my face everyday when i talk to you or her, and then when i see you with her i'm mostly trying to not break down in tears. It's a struggle, but I am strong so I know I can do it, and I will. It will be hard but I have to. So until the day comes when you're not with her anymore I will be your friend and your friend only, and I will be ok with that. And when the day comes you two are not together, you can come to me if you need, I don't know if you know that but you can, and I will be there for you as your friend. And when or even if the day comes that you know how I feel about you, and you feel the same way, I want to be there because I want to wait for you. But I don't know how long I want to wait for who knows how long for something that might not ever happen. But no matter how long I wait or what happens to us, I  am happy for you as your friend and I will ALWAYS be there for you. I love you.

I'm scared to death that I'll never be afraid.

I was enchanted to meet you, too bad you don't care.

Life's Not Fair........ At All

Everything happens for a reason, no matter what that reason is and no matter if we ever figure out that reason. Sometimes the thing doesn't really mean anything, but sometimes it does. Sometimes its meant to tell you not to do something, your not meant to do something, or meant to teach you a lesson. But sometimes things happen to people and you don't know the reason. Now i'm questioning why this happened to me. And why some other things happened. I have figured why out why I think some other things happened but not a good reason for this time. It's not fair, but then again life is not fair and at some point in your life you will learn that. I don't know if things will work out this time or not, i pray they will, especially since i've worked so hard for so long, and what happened isn't even my fault, and shouldn't have happened, but sadly it did, and i guess there's a reason it happened even though right now I have NO idea what this reason is and I may never know. 

I HATE  seeing or reading something that turns your good day into a day where you wanna do nothing because it made you feel crappy

"Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't want to live there" <3
It may be a song, but somedays these words are more true than anything.

One of the worst feelings in life: Loving someone who doesn't love you back </3

"Life's tough, then you die"  -Robert,our New York tour guide