Knowing you causes me so much pain sometimes.  Sometimes I wish I didn't know you, or even if I did, that we didn't talk. I wonder what my life would be like if I didn't know you....If I didn't like you ? Would it be easier? I want to know ? But I can't stop talking to you, because I think a part of me would die inside. Maybe I will eventually gie up on you, but I don't think that's going to be anytime soon. So until then, could you do me a favor and not be so nice ? Not be so cute ? Not talk to me all the time, even though we're really good friends ? Can you not be so perfect ? So until then can you just not make me love you ? Please ? For me ?

Happy Thanksgiving, I am grateful for my wonderful family and my amazing friends, I don't know what I would do without you !

I wish I was her. So I could be held in your arms, and my hand could be held by yours. I wish we talked all night and hung out everyday. I wish I was in her place because maybe, just maybe i think I may be kind of in love with you. First we barely talked, then we only talked when we had to. Then before i knew it we became good friends, that already had nicknames for eachother. Not long after that is when I realized I wouldn't mind getting to know you better. Oh, and that picture of us at the dance, yeah that's my favorite picture from that night. Now that we talk nonstop I wish we didn't because you think we're too good of friends to be anything more, but I don't. When I found out you were going out with her I was sad at first, but then I was just kind of sad it wasn't me. Now i'm still sad it's not me, but yet i'm happy for you becuase, well, I am your friend and i'm happy your happy, and that she's happy because she's my friend too. So now I'm just trying to put a smile on my face everyday when i talk to you or her, and then when i see you with her i'm mostly trying to not break down in tears. It's a struggle, but I am strong so I know I can do it, and I will. It will be hard but I have to. So until the day comes when you're not with her anymore I will be your friend and your friend only, and I will be ok with that. And when the day comes you two are not together, you can come to me if you need, I don't know if you know that but you can, and I will be there for you as your friend. And when or even if the day comes that you know how I feel about you, and you feel the same way, I want to be there because I want to wait for you. But I don't know how long I want to wait for who knows how long for something that might not ever happen. But no matter how long I wait or what happens to us, I  am happy for you as your friend and I will ALWAYS be there for you. I love you.